You're Rejected: A Reminder during College Admissions Season

College acceptance season is here, and I know exactly what's going through your mind. The anticipation. The nerves. The constant email refreshing. The what-ifs that keep you up at night.

I've been there before with my oldest and am living it right now with my youngest. Here's the truth: you need to focus on what matters most in life. Is it where you go to college? It's not. Not even close.

It's tempting to get caught up in the prestige game. Those college rankings? They're everywhere. Elite university logos seem to sparkle with promise. But here's a reality check backed by research: the logo on your sweatshirt doesn't determine your success.

A landmark research study by economists Stacy Dale and Alan Krueger tracked students' career trajectories and found a striking insight: students with similar academic abilities and goals achieved nearly identical career outcomes, regardless of whether they attended a top-tier university or a less selective school. This research confirms what many intuitively understand but often forget in the heat of admissions season.

What matters isn't the institution. It's you. Your drive. Your curiosity. Your ability to connect with people and adapt to challenges. And at the heart of that ability? Critical thinking.

The Power of Critical Thinking

Critical thinking is more than an academic skill—it's a way of interacting with the world. It involves asking profound questions, seeking diverse perspectives, and understanding the "why" behind things. To illustrate this, consider how critical thinking might look in practice: It's questioning assumptions, seeking out information from multiple sources, analyzing arguments from different angles, and being willing to change your mind when presented with compelling evidence.

So, while those acceptance letters are rolling in, I want you to remind yourself (or your child if you're an anxious parent waiting for those letters) to focus on what truly counts:

• Build Meaningful Connections: The relationships you form matter more than any college ranking. These are the people who'll support you, challenge you, and stand by you long after graduation. I met my husband and my best-friend-soulmate in college, and I've learned far more from them both than I ever did in the classroom.

  
  

• Stay Curious: Never stop learning, especially outside the classroom. The lessons you get from living and experiencing life are invaluable. A genuine hunger for knowledge will open more doors than any diploma ever could. Be the person who asks questions, seeks understanding, and isn't satisfied with surface-level information.

  
  

• Seek Diverse Perspectives: Engage with ideas and people different from your own—you don't have to agree, but you should try to understand. Be intentional about this. You may need to seek these people out. The best education happens in conversations, in challenging assumptions, and in exploring the world around you.

  
  

• Analyze, Don't Memorize: Move beyond rote learning. Understand the "how" and "why" behind concepts. Whether you're solving a scientific problem or exploring an ethical debate, true learning is about deep understanding.

  
  

• Embrace Mistakes: Critical thinking flourishes through trial and error. When something doesn't work out, reflect, learn, and move forward. Each misstep is a chance to grow.

A Message to Students & Parents

Students: The road ahead is built on passion, hard work, and a commitment to becoming the best version of yourself. Not on a college logo. Not on a ranking. On you. Success means nothing if you compromise your values to achieve it. Stay true to yourself, keep learning, and remain open to new ideas. This is just one chapter. Whether you're heading into the military, a trade, a community college, a state university, or an Ivy League school, your potential isn't defined by an institution. You define it.

Parents: Your role is crucial. Be role models of curiosity and critical thinking. Encourage exploration, support growth, and celebrate the learning journey—not just the destination. Know your children! Avoid projecting your values and aspirations onto them. They aren't you. They are uniquely themselves and have unique talents and skills to offer the world. Get out of their way so they can find their path, not relive yours.

And for the love of all that is holy: Don't ask other parents about where their child is applying, got accepted, got rejected, or is going. You'll find out if and when they want you to know!

So, press pause. Talk to yourself. Talk to your child. Remind them of the power they, not admissions decisions, have over their lives. Their story is just beginning, and they're learning to navigate the complex, beautiful, and unpredictable world ahead. Trust the process. Invest in yourself and your child. And remind them (and yourselves) that their potential is limitless.